After the debacle that was Kari and Rael’s first year of formal education, every school year started with the same disclaimer: yes, both of their guardians were their dads, but no, not like that. Yes, they were a pair of identical twins raising a pair of identical twins. Yes, people did seem to find it confusing. No, it really wasn’t. Unfortunately, due to a string of accidental encounters outside of school hours, the boys’ first grade teacher had gotten so turned around that even years later, she struggled to keep names straight.

Emmet still claimed he couldn’t understand it-- there were only two options. Statistically, she had to get it right at some point, but he didn’t think she had guessed right even once. The latter half of that year, he’d passive aggressively announced himself every time he had to interact with her. It worked, but it wasn’t exactly polite.

Unfortunately, that was the level of confusion that occurred when nobody was actively inciting it.

It was late afternoon when a call from the school came through on Ingo’s Xtransceiver, and while he was still on duty for the Super Single Line, he wasn’t actively awaiting a challenger, so he had no reason not to accept it. He wasn’t entirely sure what he expected-- behavioral issues weren’t uncommon where the passengers were concerned, but it was usually because they were behaving “oddly” and not because they were intentionally being disruptive. He’d already had to take the time out this year to meet with Mx. Harrison in regards to Rael going nonverbal halfway through the day, and they were still going back and forth on how to handle it when Kari got overstimulated. Decades had passed since he himself had been stuck in a classroom that was too much in every way, unable to leave and trying to hold back tears-- he was glad that accommodations could and would be made nowadays, but couldn’t help but find it irritating that it still warranted a call to a parent.

He kept an open mind today, though. They hadn’t had any trouble since the other kids stopped trying to finish Rael’s sentences for him, so there was every chance that this was just something innocuous.

It wasn’t.

The first sign was that Mx. Harrison squinted at him as the call picked up, in the way that people only did when they were trying to figure out who they were talking with. That seemed silly, since they had specifically called Ingo’s number, and not the other way around, but he supposed it wasn’t unthinkable that Emmet might pick up for him under certain circumstances.

He took a breath to greet them and save them the eye strain by telling them which brother he was, but Harrison regained their wits first.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Vámos. I’m sorry to have to interrupt your work day, but I need to make sure I understand Rael and Kari’s family situation.” It was a straightforward statement, but Harrison looked strangely embarrassed about it. “Just so we’re clear, you’re Subway Boss Ingo, correct? Who is a very public figure in Nimbasa City?”

“...yes.” Ingo said, and just barely managed to keep it from coming out as a question. While he had no idea what this was about, he had an inkling who was at the heart of it; what their motivation may have been, however, was yet beyond him.

“That makes Subway Boss Emmet your equally public-facing identical brother, isn’t that right?”

“He was the last time I checked.” Granted, it had been half an hour, but-- as Emmet himself often professed-- what he said and did rarely changed. At that, Ingo checked himself; this was a call home from a teacher. Straight answers only, so no more joking around.

“And just so we’re clear, there’s no such person as Arress Vámos?” Harrison asked, looking vaguely put upon.

It turned into one of those moments that Ingo was quietly grateful for his unmoving expression. “I’m sorry, who?”

“That’s what I thought.” Harrison said, somewhere between victorious and resigned, “Rael and Kari have spent the past two weeks insisting that they have one guardian who plays the part of identical twins at work. I don’t understand where this lie is coming from, but they’ve been sticking to it, even when the rest of us point the evidence out.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of any such claim.” He was careful to measure his tone, to make sure he sounded properly serious, masking the bafflement as he tried to figure out what in the world his sons were trying to accomplish with that.

“It’s only recently started to disrupt the class, so I didn’t think it was worth bothering you until now. After today, however, I have to ask you speak with them about this; while many of their classmates understand that it’s a joke, it’s been confusing and distressing to some others.” Harrison said, lips pressed into a thin line.

Ingo nodded, intent on the screen-- perhaps too intense, in fact, if the way they shifted under his attention was any indication. “I completely understand, and will be talking to them about it this afternoon. Is there anything else I should be aware of?”

They paused, seemingly weighing their options, and then added, “I had to confiscate Kari’s stress ball this morning, as the children were pretending it was a pokeball.”

“I see.” He said flatly, any sympathy freezing solid. “Was he one of the children participating in this game, or was he only involved by means of his fidget toy?”

“He was involved in some capacity.” Harrison said evasively. “The stories changed between students, but given his recent behavior, I can’t be confident that he’s not making something up to stay out of trouble.”

Ingo glanced at the clock, deciding exactly how to time this. He could easily contact one of the agents on duty to ask after the current challengers; if traffic was slow enough, it would be feasible take his break and go pick the boys up once school ended… and address one of the two problems that had surfaced while he was on the premises.

“As I’ve already said, I’ll speak with them on the matter, and hopefully that will prevent any confusion in the future. I believe we also need to have a discussion regarding accommodations; can you spare the time if I pick the boys up this afternoon?” He wasn’t going to be unduly harsh-- not his circus, only two of his Mankeys-- but they needed to come to some kind of understanding where the fidgets were concerned. This was the third to be deemed ‘distracting’, and from the sound of it, it hadn’t even been in Kari’s hands at the time, casting doubt on how problematic the first two had truly been.

The look on Harrison’s face suggested they might have found a reason they couldn’t meet, and so he added, “It’s also imperative that I understand precisely what they’ve been telling the other students, so I know how to address the problem.”

They wilted, and, under the undivided attention of a stern-faced parent, fell for it.

“Yes, I… should have a few minutes to spare.” They hedged.

That was good enough, Ingo decided. He didn’t like to take advantage of how people saw him, but his unchanging expression had to be good for something beyond tripping up fellow cold readers-- and if he could use it to help find justice on his children’s behalf, then he wouldn’t feel any shame for it.

And so, on that note, the two of them bid a cordial goodbye, and Ingo radioed in to ask after the ongoing win streaks.

-

The office door swung shut, and two pairs of light grey eyes affixed on their father, who raised a single palm and asked, “Why?”

“Sounded funny.” Kari said shamelessly, kneading his newly-reclaimed stress ball back and forth.

“For science.” Rael corrected, elbowing his brother in the arm, which earned him a look. He sheepishly tucked both elbows to his sides. “We wanted to know if they really couldn’t tell you and dad apart.”

“I’ll save the both of you some trouble, then: they truly can’t.” Their father leaned back against his desk, arms folded over his chest as he studied them. Both stared right back at him, wholly unrepentant. “I know neither of you meant any real harm, but you can’t joke like this; the truth may seem obvious to you, but it’s not fair to trick people who aren’t as sure. Some people have a difficult time telling what is and isn’t reality, and making them question that reality isn’t funny.”

Kari shifted from one foot to the other, telegraphing his budding guilt as he recognized disappointment in the tone of voice. “It’s okay, there’s no one like that in our class. We won’t hurt anyone.”

“How can you be certain of that?” Ingo asked, head tilted and voice soft, “Your classmates don’t understand that having something in your hands helps you focus, so they make their own assumptions. Were their guesses correct?”

Eyes drifting down to the stress ball, Kari slowly shook his head.

“Mx. Harrison should have known, though.” Rael protested, drawing his father’s eyes, and he quickly looked away. After a moment’s uncomfortable silence, he defensively added, “They’re the teacher, so they have to know better.”

“That’s not the point, Rael. Yes, your teacher knew better, but you were trying to convince them that they didn’t.” Ingo recognized the two of them bracing in anticipation, and softened internally while maintaining his tone. He pushed away from the desk and laid a hand on either of their shoulders. “It’s alright, you’re not in trouble; I just need you both to understand that you can’t do this again, under any circumstances. You might have thought it was a joke, but you were still lying to everyone in your class, and that’s why Mx. Harrison didn’t believe the others took your stress ball without permission.”

Both children paused at that, attention moving to the Munna-patterned ball. Its vacant red eyes stared back and, tentatively, Kari squeezed it again, causing the purple ‘Dream Mist’ filling to poke out until he released the pressure.

The uncertainty was still present, but lessened as they belatedly remembered who they were dealing with, and that their punishment here would be different from the scolding they’d endured during class. This wasn’t something that could be left entirely unchecked, but there was no sense in shaming them any further when they hadn’t had any concept of how their joke could actually hurt anyone.

Gently, Ingo said, “We’re going to learn from this, and it won’t happen again. Can we agree to that?”

He wasn’t surprised that he only got one verbal affirmative, and had no intention to press the matter when Rael was struggling; a nod was plenty for him. Giving either of them a soft squeeze, he let go and turned, going out of his way to pass a hand over either of their heads to muss their hair up.

“Now, what do you suppose we do to make this right?”

(This all meant that, when Emmet finally stepped in, he got a brief look at the state of their office-- of the two boys peeking into one of the Forbidden Desk Drawers while their father rifled through it-- but that paled in comparison to what was being said.

“—and write an apology for gaslighting your class.”

All of his forward momentum was brought to an unceremonious halt as he abruptly turned around to face the wall, failing at hiding his laughter.)